Tales of Adventure and Mystery Quotes

Tales of Adventure and Mystery
Main Page	Tales of Adventure and Mystery, Timeline
PCs	Salim, Lin, Declan, Doc, Sebastian, Abe
Rules	Skill List, Stunt List, Gear, Magic, Expedition Sheet Story Based Initiative
Details	Tomes, Spells
Quotes	Quotes Page
All Content	Category Page

Session 1 - Iceland

Matt St. Pierre: “Can I wrangle my orphans?”

Brian: “You rolled a 4, you now have all of your orphans.”

Tim: “You now have enough ammo for your orphan gun.”

Session 2 - Peru

Brian: “You’ve never seen anything this disturbing before, and that’s just Declan’s chest hair. When you look at the transformed lamprey lady…”

Sebastien: “What happened.”

RuShi: “She had a lamprey for a head.”

Sebastien: “...and I MISSED it?”

Brian: “Nothing in your history says you’ve heard of Peruvian fat vampires.”

Mike StP: “They prefer adiposivores.”

Brian: “They’re called the KHARISIRI. The actual name is PISHTACO but I went with the name that won’t reduce the whole table to laughter every time we say it.”

Dr. Bhisaj: “Is it a creepy basement?”

Brian: “It’s poorly lit…”

Dr. Bhisaj: “Ladies first.”

RuShi: “Oh, it’s a dark creepy basement and you want the lady to go first?”

Dr. Bhisaj: “You flew through a window last night and kicked a vampire lamprey lady in the head while I tried to shoot him with an empty gun. I’ve seen what you can do.”

RuShi: “...Good point, I’ll go first.”

Tim: “I’m going to shoulder the stacks.”

Brian: “You’re going to destroy a lot of antiques.”

(Pause)

Brian: “Look at that face! Look at those fucks given! There are no fucks given! Roll physique.”

Salim: “Have you heard the legends of the Kharisiri? Mendoza is Larkin’s batman.”

Professor Sanchez: “Yes, my assistant Trinidad is in the basement going through the last of our notes on the possible location of the pyramid.

Matt: “She dead.”

Mike StP: “She has a character card, the GM wouldn’t have made a card for her if she were dead.

(A TIME LATER)

Professor Sanchez: “As I said before, Trinidad is downstairs. She should have been back an hour ago…”

Matt: “SHE DEAD.”

(ANOTHER TIME LATER)

Brian: “You come around the corner and see Mendoza, head like a lamprey, feeding on Trinidad.”

Matt: Holds up a sign saying: “SHE DED”

Session 3 - Peru

Brian: “You were picked up at a bar by a fat vampire…”

Tim: “Hey, hey, let me clarify. I have standards:she was a fat-eating vampire.”

Brian: “He looks like he’s going to panic, or throw up, or pass out, and those can be really dangerous if they’re done in the wrong order.”

Brian: “It’s a seedy bar, the kind of bar where they won’t question why you have a hissing basket.”

Mike McC: “That will be a one drink minimum, including the basket.”

Brando: “So three drinks for this gentleman!”

Mike StP: “Is the magic ingot thing shaped more like a ding dong or a twinkie?”

Matt: “We need a codephrase that all the PCs know that we can drop in normal conversation but that means “Conversation is over, attack the nearest bad guy.” Among the brothers, we use the phrase “So what are you going to do about it?”

Mike McC: “After many years of gaming, this is the first time I’ve ever been asked what my unsafe word is.”

Brian: “Welcome to gaming at a table with the brothers St. Pierre. Matt quote that.”

RuShi: “We need to get out of here. Now. Tonight. We need to get everyone, get whatever supplies we can, get on the plane, and leave tonight, right now, because the two people we kicked the shit out of and thought we killed and who can identify us as their assailants are both still alive and headed home. To talk to our employer who is also their employer. We need to leave right goddamn now.”

(PAUSE)

Matt, calmly: “Discuss.”

(Abe has just read the “Final Confessions of Gaspar Figueroa”)

Abe: The bad news is: Mendoza’s been shot in the head before.”

Session 4 - Peru

Brian: “You’re flying to La Camina, it’s about a two hour flight, and it’s 1 in the morning.”

Matt: “You do your best flying at night.”

Tim: “Amphetamines are magic.”

Tim: “If you guys need me down there I’ll rig up an autopilot.”

Brando: “Which is your belt tied up to the steering yolk.”

Matt: “Whether our story is BS or not decides whether we use Deceive or Rapport. What’s your skill at both?”

(A SHORT TIME LATER)

Tim: “We’re going to lie. We’re going to lie hard.”

Brando: “I didn’t know that this was a spy thriller.”

Brian: “The pyramid has a large crack in the top.”

Mike McC: “A large kraken?”

Matt: “Kraken? It’s the old ones.”

Brando: “Guys it’s a temple of the old ones. I’m not sure which one but definitely one of them and you’ve awakened it and doomed us all.”

Jackson Elias, upon arrival in Puno: “We just need to hope no one has reported Larkin kidnapped.”

Tim: “Are there cops around?”

Brian: “There are some in the crowd oohing and aahing at the plane.”

Declan: “We would like to invite the local bigwigs and law enforcement for drinks to celebrate this event!”

Brian: “I’m going to need minis for… some fisherman, an old lady, a professor, and a black guy.”

Tim: “I’m waiting for you to pull A Black Dude out of that case.”

(Matt pulls out Leroy Long, the 1970s martial artist private detective blaxploitation character.)

Tim, standing, clapping: “Oh Captain, my Captain.”

Brian: “You’re trying to move people out, you’re creating an escape route. You need a social skill for that.”

Mike McC: “Could I use Provoke?”

Brian: “No. You could use Rapport, you could use… I’d even let you use Notice.”

Abe: (Pointing back behind him): “I’ve noticed there’s no bad guys over here.”

Mike McC: “I’m going to go Devo on his ass.”

Matt: “And whip it?”

Mike McC: “Whip it good.”

Brian: “It’s how the game works, if you have a Shoot skill we assume you have a firearm on you unless there’s an aspect that prevents it. And then it’s a compel.”

Tim: “I’ve got Drive 4, does that mean I always have a car in my pocket?”

Brian: “No.”

Session 5 - Peru

Mike StP: “Is anybody having problems with the altitude?”

Brian: “No, not even when you all flew over the mountains in an unpressurized plane.”

Declan: “I’ve been flying high for most of the last ten years, I’m fine.”

Matt: “So you’ve been high for the last ten years?”

Mike McC: “Do they have any of those really tall hats? I want one. And a poncho.”

Brian: “Matt, do you have a mini for like, a feral vampire? How about this one?”

Matt: “How about this one?”

Brian: “Perfect. Never try to overrule your… what are the guys who curate wines called?”

Mike StP: “Sommelier.”

Brian: “Yeah, you're a miniatures sommelier.”

Mike StP: “Your mini-elier.”

Mike McC: “Do we know if these things are more vulnerable to fire? I’m wrestling the pishtaco in to the fire.”

Brian: “You shove it in the fire. It takes one point of stress, but it doesn’t demonstrate any extreme vulnerability to fire.”

Mike McC: “We’re engaging in the scientific method here.”

Krupal: “You know what? No I’m not carrying the severed arm. It will get in the way of stealing more gold.”

Mike McC: “You don’t think it will come in handy?”

Brian: “You’ve convinced the local farmer not to shoot the white guy because he’s not a pishtaco.”

Mike McC: “Don’t ask if he has a daughter.”

Beat.

Declan: “Question that was just raised…”

Mike McC: “DON’T ask.”

Declan: “How big is your family?”

Farmer: “It is just me, my son, and my wife.”

Tim: “I’m still open to the idea.”

Brian: “He puts his son (who was bitten by a kharisiri) to bed.”

Mike McC: “And he develops spider-man like powers.”

Brian: “He gains the powers of a lamprey, which are not very useful in the highlands.”

Mike StP: “I don’t know anything about llamas.”

Brian: “I know they spit.”

Matt: “That’s not spit.”

Brian: (Interrupting) “We don’t want to know.”

(Later)

Brian: “The guy climbs to the top of the step pyramid where it’s cracked and vomits in to the crack.”

Matt: “He’s a llama!”

Tim: “I’ve been to parties like this.”

Brian: “Krupal, roll Lore.”

Krupal: “5.”

Brian: “You notice they were vomiting out fat.”

Krupal: “Well, that’s a new weight loss program.”

Mike StP: “Matt, have you got a mini for a donkey in there?”

Matt: “No. But I've got Bill Shatner's mini and he was a giant ass…”

(Speaking to big bad)

Abe: “What’s your name? If telling it to me wouldn’t make my head explode or maggots to come out of my face.”

Big Bad: “It can not be spoken.”

Matt: “So maggot face.”

Declan: “I’m going to call you Terri.”

Big Bad: “It is always good to collect another name.”

Declan: “So Bill…”

Brian: “And as you watch, some massive vile monstrosity bursts from the sands of the desert ahead of you.”

Mike McC: “Shia LaBeouf.”

Brian: “You just did 12 stress with a heroin attack on a dark god. He’s absorbed it through the moderate consequence “This god is high,” the severe consequence “Heart is giving out,” and a two stress box.”

Matt: “I tried to be a dark god… but then I got high.”

Brian: “You could say the heroin is doing the heavy lifting.”

RuShi: “Declan, get your whiskey-drinking Irish ass up here and cover me.”

Tim: “I’m not sure how to respond to that without offending everyone at the table.”

Matt: “I make a racist comment. You make a racist and sexist comment.”

Tim: “And a classist one.”

Brian: “You have a sack full of gold. Is there anyone who wants in on this sack? Do you want in on this sack or not?”

Session 6 - New York

Brian: “You’ve turned one of your crates of illicit goods in to alcohol.”

Matt: “Does that make it wood alcohol?”

Matt: “Are his guts hanging out like he alive, or are his guts hanging out like he ded?”

Brian: “He ded.”

Matt: “Can I spend a point on Comedically Bad Timing and arrive before he ded?”

Brian: “No.”

Matt “I was totally expecting Jackson Elias to be our Johnson for the rest of this campaign. Apparently I was wrong.”

Brian: “He swings his big honking knife at you.”

Mike McC: “I’ll use whatever my not-getting-hit-with-a-big-honking-knife skill is.”

Matt: “Right, so Abe and I are taking this 200 pound man four flights down on an icy fire escape at eight at night.”

Mike McC: “While Declan waits for the cops.”

Brian: “That’s the plan?”

Mike McC: “That’s the plan.”

Tim: “This is a great plan.”

Matt: “I like this plan.”

Brian: Tosses down a pre-printed aspect card...

Brian: “Aspect: Bloody Symbol Carved in Jackson Elias’s Forehead. Yeah you guys were not saving him.”

Brian (as Lt Detective Martin Pool): “I could, Declan, but… the Paperwork, Declan, the Paperwork. Okay that’s an aspect of his now.”

Brian (as Police Detective/Declan's Cousin and NY Drinking Buddy): “How do you know the deceased?”

Declan: “I know him through my business. He was an associate during my smuggling days.”

Brian: “He writes down everything about that, except for the part about smuggling. He writes down “Knew him through your business.””

Matt: “It’s getting late, and I’m guessing Brando’s not going to make it.”

Brian: “He said work was keeping him for he didn’t know how long. He could miss it, he could be here in three minutes.”

Brando arrives three minutes later

Matt: “We’ve got all this evidence. We’re making a yarn board. Brian, do you have yarn?”

Brian: “I’ll get string.”

Tim: “So we’re going Pepe Silvio here.”

Brian (as Miriam the Librarian): “The book he wanted was Africa’s Dark Sects.”

Matt: “Is that… S E C T S?”

Brian: “Yes.”

Mike McC: Outlines trope-ridden story about secret organization that will totally be coming to kills us now. “Because pulp.”

Brando: “All the tropes.”

Mike McC: “The Bermuda Tropangle.”

Matt: “The tropography.”

Brando: “A tropographical map.”

Tim: “Declan's from Cork.”

Matt: “He came out of a wine bottle?”

Brando: “And he's been trying to get back in ever since.”

Session 7 - New York

Brian: “The location issue is Evil’s Afoot.”

Tim: “Evil’s a foot? Guy’s the old one is Shredder.”

Mike St. P: “We are in New York.”

Matt: “I crack his lockbox.”

Brian: “You find a little cash.”

Matt: “I don’t take that.”

Brian: “That and a red headband like the guys who killed Elias.”

Matt: “I take that. And now I take his cash. Because now he’s an asshole.”

Matt: “We’re interrogating him. He’s waking up, we’re going to pin him down and he tells us what he knows or we put the worm in him.”

Tim: “How many dates have I been on that end that way?”

Matt: “This is not the type of thing you do without the whole party or with an angry mob five feet away outside the door. This is the type of thing you come back later tonight for, when the dude is still in the hospital, and we break into his shop while everyone is asleep and enter his hole.”

(Beat)

Tim: “Quote that.”

Matt: “And if I fail burglary, Declan’s probably got some dynamite and we can just blow it off.”

Mike St. P: “I’ll just roll resources and have three local thugs show up, prybar it up, and leave without asking questions.”

Tim, not talking about RPGs: “I got hit in the face with a baseball. My mom was driving me to the hospital for a check-up on my concussion and I Linda Blaire-ed all over the windshield.”